Love Poem

When I cry for me, I cry for you, too
When I cry for you, I’m learning to cry for me, too
I am learning that we’re all the same through our differences
We are all always doing all that we can do
I cry because your efforts weren’t enough to reach me where I was
And because mine weren’t enough to reach you
I am slowly learning to see it as nobody’s fault
But I don’t know if that’s any better
Because it means there were just two good people who loved each other
Two ships passing in the night
Separated by an ocean of senseless pain
Two passengers crying out over the raging sea
Until one boat sank
And I was alone on the calm water.
You deserved everything I have and more
And I deserve to have you here
We deserved every bit of the love we gave each other
And none of the pain we caused each other
And I understand now
The thing I heard and liked and wanted to understand before,
That no one is separate from anyone
Nothing is separate from anything
Every string pulls another string
Everyone we hurt, we hurt ourselves
Everyone we love, we help ourselves
Hurting ourselves hurts others
Loving ourselves helps others
And if I can live my life awake to that from here on out
I think it will be the next best thing
To having you back.
I am trying to remember
That the times I loved you are as real as the day I lost you
That as imperfect and insufficient as it was, you felt my love
That that matters.
That while your life ended too soon, it was still a life
You smiled and laughed and breathed and played with your niece
You are not insignificant
You are not a burden
You are not a drag on my existence
You have given me something irreplaceable
I am going to do my best to give it to the world.